The Line

Drawing the Line

Actually, I think most people behave in the opposite manner: they decide how they feel about specific issues, then, from those decisions, try to create an outline of who they are as a whole (like a "connect-the-dots" exercise). Although it is probably easier to act this way, I believe that there are negative consequences for doing so.

I believe that we are all susceptible to "outside" influences. Unless we know where we stand apart from these influences, it becomes easy for us to let them determine how we react to an issue: we might adopt a certain opinion to avoid being unpopular, or because a celebrity we like has that same opinion, or because having a different opinion will make our lives harder, somehow.

This, I believe, leads inevitably to inconsistencies, contradictions and hypocracy (we may change our opinions depending on who we're talking to, or depending on who is involved, for example; or, we may support something that contradicts another opinion that we have). When this occurs, I believe such a person becomes unreliable and untrustworthy.

In any event, in order to figure out who we are, it is important that we understand the answers to certain questions:

• What kind of line do you draw?
• Where do you draw the line?
• What happens when someone crosses the line?

What kind of line I draw
The line I tend to draw is a very distinct, sharp, thin one. This is the line of my absolute limits. Everything up to (and including) the line is more-or-less fair game. I like to think that the line I draw is not affected by age, race, sex, sexual orientation, percent body-fat, day of the week, current weather patterns or any other irrelevant characteristic.

I imagine I seem very hard and uncompromising because of this. In many ways, that is true. If you cross the line and do not have a very good reason for doing so, my judgment of you will be affected accordingly. However, the trade-off is that, if you know where my line is, then you know where you stand with me, and you know if/when you cross the line.

Also, I do not believe in compromising my values, ever, and try very hard not to. If you can convince me that my views are wrong, then I will change where I draw the line. What I won't do is change it just for you (or me). I believe what I believe because I believe it is right, not because it makes my life (or yours) any easier.

Where I draw the line
Given that I'm so strict about the line I draw, I tend to draw it very liberally. That is to say, I'm rather lenient with regards to what I consider acceptible. In fact, I think I am actually more lenient than many people who are willing to compromise their lines. Of course, there are different lines for different issues, but I try to keep my lines as consistent as possible (which also helps people know where it is).

Crossing the line
Ironically, although I sound very strict with my choice of lines, crossing the line is not necessarily a bad thing, in my opinion. I'm usually more concerned with why someone crossed the line and how they crossed it than that they did so. I also realize that people (myself included) sometimes make mistakes. Given this, I can forgive the occasional transgression.

In many ways, I have more respect for someone who crosses the line out of commitment to their own beliefs, than someone who doesn't cross the line simply because they're afraid I'll stop liking them if they do. If a person's beliefs are well thought-out and consistent, and if s/he is openminded about them, then I'm less concerned with any conflict that might arise between us. In fact, to some extent, I value these conflicts as they can be enlightening to either or both of us. And, certainly, I recognize the right that people have to their own beliefs. But, even more so, I recognize the fact that I may be wrong.

On the other hand, I have little patience for people who cross the line out of callousness, petty selfishness or hypocracy. Those who do quickly earn my disrespect.

This is not to say that I deal with conflict well, either. Like most people, I often try to avoid dealing with conflicts because they are too uncomfortable. However, this is something that I'm trying to improve in myself.

This location in the Land is dedicated to describing where I draw the line on specific issues. Click on the topics listed to the left to view an in depth discussion of those issues. The opinions described in these sections are my own. If you would like to comment on these ideas or if you have new/more information about an issue, please feel free to let me know (click on the envelope icon at the bottom of the index to the left).

For an in depth look at what determines why I draw these lines, check out the Temple.

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