Out onto an open road you ride until the day
You learn to sleep at night with the price you pay
The hospital's surgical waiting area was enormous. There were about sixty large industrial square-block foam chairs that few people could sit on comfortably, especially not someone Dom's size.
He'd rather have stayed back in the emergency room waiting area even with all the freaks that collected in a place like that, but Tanner had ended up here instead, so Dom had been required to follow.
He'd already been up to the fourth floor to visit Mia, who'd complained all the way up there. She'd insisted that the once-over they gave her in emergency was fine, she was fine, but they wanted to keep her overnight and even though her desire to argue with Dom outweighed her common sense, she had finally been coerced to stay. Dehydrated, they told him, not to mention bumps and scrapes received while putting up a fight with her kidnappers. All of her symptoms only served to make her crankier. Unfortunately, Dom couldn't blame her. "We're gonna be here a while, no matter what," he'd reminded her. Dom wasn't so certain that Tanner hadn't been the one to engineer her stay there, more to get her comfortable before everyone started asking her questions than anything else.
He had stayed while they put her in the room, then asked the cop lurking nearby, and the staff, to leave them alone for a bit.
Even after all that had happened with Brian, Mia still didn't want to look at him. He stroked her hair, not talking. Dom wanted it to be the way it used to be for a little while, just him taking care of her, soothing her. Finally she looked up at him and frowned. "They didn't do anything to me. Not what you're thinking."
"How do you know what I'm thinking?" But of course she always did, and it never failed to creep him out.
"I always know what you're thinking." She paused, turned on the TV, and stared intently at it.
"If they had done... something to you, would you even tell me?"
Mia looked away. "No. Because about the last thing I need is for you to have done all this and then go out looking to get all medieval on someone's ass and land yourself back in prison. And they didn't do anything like that. They weren't exactly pleasant, but they didn't hurt me after they parked my ass in the house."
"I'm so sorry, baby. I never thought--"
"You didn't think. Big surprise. You never thought, Dom. You were always all about being the big shot, the badass. I enjoyed you enjoying it, but I was always scared about this criminal bullshit. I love you so much and I wouldn't put my foot down because I loved you too much. I didn't do what Mama or Daddy would have done, and I should have. "
He rubbed his hand over his mouth. "Don't they call that tough love?"
"Not tough enough. I should have kicked your ass. So should Let and Vince and Leon and Jesse, but everybody lets you get away with murder."
Mia had looked at him then, really looked at him even though she was angry and exasperated. And she was horrified at herself for cutting that close to the bone. He'd blanched as she said it, the color draining from his face, eyes cast to the side and narrowed.
Dom pulled a chair over and sat down, rubbing his head with his good hand. God, she hadn't even had time to ask him about all that. When the police had brought her in for questioning right after Jess had been shot, they'd told her about Dom being injured, emphasized that he was under arrest. But she'd had no idea he would look this bad -- bruises all over the place, a gash on his scalp, the cast... and the way he moved with wincing caution, she wondered if he had a cracked rib or two. Her brother was so strong, so tough, that he would never let injuries like that throw him off, and she loved him even more for going on even though he was hurting. He'd worked so hard to get her back. But Mia was still pissed underneath it all, for how he'd gone ahead with that last hijacking, for letting everything go bad.
"I'm sorry, Dom. I shouldn't--"
"Nah, I deserved it. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for me being a badass and a big shot."
"Dom..."
"No. Don't say it. I gotta work it out myself, anyway. And yeah, I know Mama and Dad would have been disgusted with me. Don't think I don't know that."
She turned the TV off and settled her head down into the lumpy pillows. The IV was already annoying her after only a few minutes. Electrolytes, my ass. "What was all that stuff back there with Brian?"
He glanced away, looking shifty-eyed. Okay, so he was more than willing to beat himself up about everything he'd done wrong, but he wasn't going to cop to questions about Brian. Typical Dom behavior. "He helped me when he didn't have anything to gain. Turned out to be a good friend."
"Uh huh."
Dom fixed her with a look. "Oughtta go check on him, anyway. Will you be okay?"
"Yeah, Dom, I'm always okay. I'm not gonna drop this. I want to know what's going on. How did Brian get involved in this? Why was he putting his life on the line to help us?" She wanted to know a hell of a lot more than that, but she figured he wasn't going to tell her anything important anyway. God, she almost hated him when he was this pig-headed. Ever since prison he'd done that thing where he'd just shut down if you asked him exactly the right -- or maybe wrong -- question, or got a little too close to him. Mia knew she could get away with more than many others could, but Dom shut even her out too much lately, way more than she preferred -- not to mention understood. This was worse than any time since their father's death. Dom put on a good show, one Mia was pretty sure most others bought into, but she was the one who saw him alone, saw the real him that only came out when he was away from the others. What she'd seen today... the way he'd touched Brian, the anguish in his eyes, that was the real him, the face he didn't show very often. Not unlike how he'd looked when Jesse had been shot. Or when he'd found out Brian was a cop.
Dom decided that it was time to go, before she really pressured him to talk about Brian. He got up and paused in the doorway, looking back at her. No matter what happened, no matter what she faced, Mia was always feisty. And she knew him better than anybody, better than Dom wanted to be known. Despite all that, though, he had no way to explain any of this to her, especially since he didn't even really understand it himself. "When you're better... when everything's calmed down," he said quietly, offering her the only crumb he could. He knocked his fist against the door frame a couple times. "I'll be back once we get news."
"Whether or not there's news, get your ass back up here. You are not leaving me here by myself again."
He smiled. "Roger that."
"Asshole."
"Love you."
"Love you, too, asshole."
It took him a while to find Tanner. The sergeant was sitting there nursing a cup of coffee, looking pretty much the worse for wear. Probably getting way too old for games like this. When he saw Dom approach, he moved over to make room on the crappy chair. "They booted us out of emergency when you went with your sister, said this was the place to wait. In case there are any questions."
Dom didn't even want to think about what kind of questions they could possibly ask. It reminded him of Vince's surgeons deciding whether or not to amputate one of his limbs.
"Heard anything yet?"
"Nope."
They sat in silence for a long time. Why did people always describe silences like this as companionable? There was nothing friendly or comfortable about it. Tanner had an aura radiating off him that said he pretty much wanted to skin Dom alive.
"How's your sister?" Tanner finally asked.
"Okay. Calling me names, so everything's back to normal."
"She up to answering questions? I sent a uniform up there."
"Yeah. I made him wait so I could talk to her. Just go easy on her, okay? She's shakier than she's willing to let on." Dom had almost warned the cop away, but then decided he should let them all find out about her temper on their own. Besides, it would be funner for her that way. He kind of enjoyed watching Mia light into someone when she was pissed. "So, how long is this going to take, you think?" Dom wasn't certain he could sit still for long enough, not with Tanner, anyway.
"Gunshot wound? A long time. He's in good shape, though. I asked them to bring him here because they have one of the best trauma guys in the city. A little farther to go, but I think his chances are better here than if we used one of the hospitals closer in."
Dom leaned back in the seat, trying to get comfortable, though that was an impossible task. "He had a lot of other injuries. From before. Not as good of shape as you think."
Tanner looked at him sideways. "From before?"
"The last job. Brian came after us. He saved Vince's life by jumping on a moving semi. Then back on to his own car." The guy probably would not appreciate hearing how ballsy Dom thought that had been, so he left it out.
"Interesting." Tanner stroked the sides of his goatee, contemplating that. "He managed to leave that part out of his story."
"Figured that."
Dom pointed a finger at his coffee cup a couple times. "I gotta get me one of those."
Tanner watched him walk to the courtyard area out front, where the coffee cart was. He seemed shakier, less intense than before. This whole thing had rattled him a lot more than he wanted to let on, but it showed to someone who watched with careful eyes.
It was hard to tell which person's situation worried Toretto more: his sister's or O'Conner's. And that was an interesting little study. Brian had painted a pretty clear picture of what Toretto was like, emotional yet self-contained, but back at the meet site, his behavior had seemed a little more... intense than Tanner had expected. Certainly nothing like the picture of the cool customer Brian had tried to paint way back in the beginning.
When Toretto got back with his coffee he sat down, elbows on knees, tapping his foot annoyingly fast.
"There's a lot we still have to discuss, you know."
"Yeah." Toretto didn't look at him when he answered.
"I've reassessed my opinion of you. Not a lot, so don't get cocky or think you're in the clear. But I see you're not only a thug, which is about all I was willing to give you before."
"This going somewhere? Or are we just having a moment?"
Tanner tried not to grin, shaking his head. "You had a chance to make good on your mistakes, and you did. But what are you going to do now that this is over?"
"Haven't thought that far."
"Well, you should. After all this, do you think you can keep street racing? Pulling small-time crime jobs so you can maintain the bling bling and the hot cars? Maybe it's time to reassess what you're doing -- or not doing -- with your life."
Toretto finally turned to look at him, his eyebrows raised. Whatever mocking remark he wanted to make he bit back, and it was obviously killing him.
"Did you ever stop to consider that now you have the word of two police officers -- and maybe, if he's in a good mood, even the reluctant support of an FBI agent -- to help you clean up the rest of your record? That maybe the work you did here today might earn you the chance to get back to the track?"
The way Toretto's eyes shifted back and forth pretty much answered that question. He was caught in the sights and didn't know what to do right now.
"Brian told me about what you were doing for Linder, too. You're trying to make amends, and you never know, that might go a long way with the people who banned you from racing. I know it would go a long way for me if it was one of my uniforms."
"Yeah, but I ain't in that life."
"You weren't in the life you're in now before your father died, either."
"Good point."
Dom thought about everything he'd said, wondering why Tanner would even bring any of that stuff up. Except that it must have something to do with Brian, how Tanner felt about him. That fatherly thing again. He found it hard to believe that anyone would be willing to do such things for him after the trouble he'd caused, the hurt he'd left in his wake. But Tanner wasn't the kind of guy who'd shine you on, either.
"So, let's say I go back to being a law-abiding citizen with my nice shiny clean record. Then what?"
"Well, I would say that's up to you." The guy had a smirk on his face. Now he could see what had made Brian so irritated back then -- it was like Tanner had some kind of private line on you that he'd only hint at and you were supposed to figure it all out based on the life wisdom you gained just from being around him, grasshopper.
"You make it sound so easy."
He scratched his head. "No, I would never say that." He reached into his pocket and pulled out some paper -- two receipt slips, one yellow, one pink -- that he gave to Dom. "There's this car in impound, a classic. Dodge Charger, I think. Really messed up in an accident. But someone who knew what they were doing could rebuild her. Know anyone like that?"
Dom took the paper, stared at it for a long time. He felt a little weird and had trouble finding his voice. "I might." Okay, so now he could see why Brian liked the guy.
They sat for a long time, listening to the sounds of pages, cell phones, the hum of other people waiting for news. Eventually they saw the doctor come toward them, so they both stood.
"You're not... the family?" he asked, obviously surprised, and Tanner and Dom looked at each other.
"We're pretty much all he's got," Dom answered.
"I'm his sergeant," Tanner said, extending his hand. "How is he?"
The doctor rubbed at his eyes. "Well, we're lucky in some respects. Your basic nine millimeter round, full metal jacket, so it went through nice and clean. There was a fair amount of damage, but it was the blood loss more than anything. And... he had a few other injuries that surprised us, which didn't help a lot. Was he in some kind of car accident recently?"
Dom shifted uneasily. "Uh... something like that."
"That would have been good to know about." It wasn't a glare, but it was close. "Well, he's stable now, though it was a little dicey there for a bit, so we have him in ICU for the night. You can see him in a few hours, but he won't be very aware."
"As long as he's gonna be okay," Tanner said, something of a tremble in his voice.
"I think so. Do you have any questions?"
"You didn't have to... take anything out or anything like that?" Dom asked, recalling the news about Vince.
"No, nothing like that. Sewed a lot of things up, though." The doctor smiled, although it didn't help Dom's distress at all. "Why don't you get some dinner, and by the time you're done, you can check to see if it's all right to visit?"
They both nodded, waiting until he walked away before they sat down again. Like a couple of puppets.
"Shit. I knew he was worse off than he let on." Dom balled his hand up in a fist.
"He's a tough kid, he'll be all right."
"Kinda not my point. But whatever."
Tanner glowered at him, that disapproving-dad stare. "You know, you're kidding yourself if you think you understand him."
Dom leaned back in the chair, taking a long drink of his rapidly cooling coffee. "Who says I think I understand him?"
"People who become cops do it for a reason. It's something they really believe in. It's who they are. Brian worked very hard to get where he was, to get noticed enough to be picked for an assignment like this. I understand him getting sucked into your life -- for a kid like him, having a family and friends all of a sudden... I get why it appealed to him. But do you really think he should throw away what he worked for so he can hang out with the cool street-racing kids? So he can, what, work on cars and maybe do some crime on the side?"
Dom stared straight ahead while Tanner talked, even though it stung. But he absolutely didn't want to show the sonofabitch how much of a nerve he'd hit.
"He's not gonna go back and be your whipping boy, either," Dom said. "He's not dumb enough to think that he can walk back into a station house and be accepted after what happened."
Tanner was quiet for a long time, but Dom couldn't figure out whether or not the guy was pissed.
"Whatever it is that got you two connected, whatever kind of friendship you have going, don't believe for one minute that it's more important to him than being a cop. He seems to think very highly of you... and for reasons I don't understand, you're... friends now. But a friend, a real one, would make sure he doesn't make any decisions he might live to regret because of some misguided, star-struck loyalty. "
"Brian makes his own decisions. Nobody influences him unless he wants it." It annoyed Dom that no one seemed to want to give Brian credit for being his own man -- hell, for being a man at all. They acted like he was some gullible teenage boy.
"Well, that's the thing you might want to think more on, then, isn't it? Just who you really are to him. To your friends." Tanner rose, patting Dom on the shoulder a couple times. "I'm going to go down to the cafeteria. Maybe you should go look in on your sister."
Dom stood in the ICU room watching the colorful monitor readouts, keeping far away from Brian's bed. It was spooky to see him like that, the normally tanned skin so pale, tubes running everywhere. He found himself praying without even really thinking about it; some kind of comfort in the rote language of his childhood. The nurse monitoring the equipment kept asking if he needed anything, tried to get him to sit down, but he preferred to stand.
A while later Tanner slid up beside him. Dom only half-turned and said, "Who is it that he reminds you of?"
"My son. Though I don't know if he'd have turned out like Brian. Just that certain things Brian does or says bring him back."
"He's gone?"
"Died when he was thirteen." He rubbed a hand over his head. "Got hit by a car when he was out riding his bike."
"I'm sorry."
"Well, we all have our crosses to bear, don't we?" Tanner looked pointedly at him. The guy was definitely a lot tougher than Dom had realized.
"Did you handle it?" Dom asked. "Or did you just go to pieces? I'm thinking you come by the shrink insights one way or another."
"Jesus, you are a smart-ass, aren't you?" Tanner shook his head, smiling his quick, grimace-like smile. "I handled it. I went to pieces, just like you in some ways. A little of both. The handling it lost me my wife, and the not handling it almost lost me everything else."
"That's why the job means so much. To you, to him. No family. The only thing you really have left."
"That's a luxury you have on both of us. I wonder if you really appreciate all of it? Brian would hate to see you throw so much away if you keep going how you're going. At least, I'm fairly certain that's what he'd feel."
"Even if I don't throw it away, as you call it... you still think I'm some kind of bad influence on him. That I'm gonna drag him down."
Tanner sighed, put his hands in his pockets, then turned to go. He stopped in the open entryway, looking down at the floor. "Would a good influence have put him in that bed?"
Dom leaned back against the glass. He watched the faint rise and fall of Brian's chest, like he was barely breathing.
There was really only one answer to that question, and he'd known it all along.
When Dom woke up the next morning, stiff and sore from trying to sleep in two really uncomfortable hospital chairs shoved together for a makeshift bed, Mia was still asleep. She had clearly been more exhausted than she'd realized, because she'd been asleep when he got here and only woke up long enough to hear about Brian and tell him what she'd told the cops when they'd questioned her.
Dom went into the tiny bathroom and tried to clean up as much as he could, get the foul taste out of his mouth. By now he was starving; he'd eaten her leftover fruit cup and yogurt, but that was not enough to keep him going. Once he was done he went down to the cafeteria to get something quick to eat, then back up to see Brian. He was fast learning his way around this place. There was a new nurse who told him they planned to move Brian down to a regular floor later in the day. Dom took up the same position of leaning against the glass wall, almost afraid to get too close to Brian for fear of waking him. Dom wanted him to rest as much as possible, not try to talk or sit up, and he knew what a stubborn little fucker Brian was. He'd want to apologize or explain, something like that.
A while later he turned to see Mia coming up behind; she paused and put her hand against the glass, cocking her head sideways. He nodded to let her know it was okay, but he couldn't manage a smile.
"How is he?" she asked.
"Better enough that they plan to move him later."
"Have you talked to him?"
"Not yet. Want him to rest."
"Yeah." She squinted at Dom. "He'll be okay. He's strong." It was the way she said it, the knowledge she had of him, that brought Dom up short. How would he explain to her what had happened? If she wasn't already hurt enough, something like that could crush her. Dom had no idea what she really felt for the guy anymore.
"They let you go?" he asked. She seemed almost back to normal.
"Ah, I'm not officially checked out yet. Takes forever, I guess. But while they're finishing up the paperwork I figured you'd be here and I'd see how things were." She brushed a hand over her leg. "God, I cannot wait to get out of these freaking clothes. This is just gross."
Smoothing a hand over her hair, he said, "I'm sorry, Mia. You have no idea how sorry I am."
"I know, I do. Really. It's just... I hope you're out of this now. Dom, please tell me that you're not doing this criminal bullshit anymore."
"They cleared my record. That was the deal -- I give them Tony, they clear my record and Vince's. No charges against anyone else. And they don't bring Brian up on charges."
"Is he in a lot of trouble?"
He motioned for her to follow him into the hallway. With his hand wrapped around her arm in an attempt to keep her calm, he said, "He let me go. After we got... after he shot Johnny, he let me go. The cops were coming."
"I thought you said you had an accident. That that's why you ended up in the hospital, because you got caught." Her voice was strained; she was desperately trying to rein in her anger at him, but it wasn't working. Dom squeezed harder and she cast her eyes down at his hand, then back up to his face.
"Yeah. But the accident was because Brian and I raced. And when it was over he let me go. I smashed up the Charger. We went through a train crossing and barely missed getting hit."
"Jesus, Dom. I can't believe this shit!" She turned to look in the room. "I'm surprised they didn't just throw him in jail since they didn't have you. Between that and what he did for Vince..." She yanked her arm away. "Goddammit. Just... goddamn all of you and your testosterone bullshit."
"He threw it all away for us. Didn't even think twice. That's who he is, I guess." It was still a little hard to believe all that had happened.
Mia crossed her arms over her chest, kicked a toe at his boot. "Does this mean I have to forgive him?"
Dom barked out a laugh. "Up to you."
With her lips drawn tight, Mia gave him a half-smile. It was obviously forced, though. "I'm going to go get my stuff. Do you want to go home after I get released?" That wasn't even a question; it was her way of saying "take me home ASAP."
"Sure." Dom absolutely didn't want to leave Brian alone, but knew he had to. "Meet you down there in a few minutes."
Even though he didn't want to wake Brian, he went in and sat down by the bed. Brian opened his eyes at the noise, taking a few minutes to focus. "Hey," he said in a shaky voice.
"Hey, yourself. I have to take Mia home, she's okay but she had to spend the night . I'll be back, though. They're going to move you to a regular room, and I'll be back by the time you're settled."
Brian looked like he had trouble processing that information; he stared past Dom's shoulder for a while before answering, "Long drive." So he knew where he was.
"You're worth it. Just don't do anything stupid till I get back. Then you can be as stupid as you want to."
"Got my back." He gave Dom a small, weak smile.
"On it, all the way." He looked up, didn't see anyone paying attention to them, and ran the backs of his fingers across Brian's forehead. "You scared me. I was afraid I'd lost you."
Brian closed his eyes, mumbling something Dom couldn't make out. Then he caught dumbass on the end of it, and knew Brian was okay.
When Brian came to for real, he was in a different room, a smaller, more confined space with a window that let way too much sunshine flood in. He was hot and sweaty but at the same time cold, and thirsty as hell. He remembered Dom talking to him at some point, a blond nurse who was very kind, and a lot of machines. The wound in his side throbbed. He looked around, remembering that they'd told him something about morphine, but he couldn't recall what they'd said with much clarity. There it was: a button near his hand, which he pushed weakly. He supposed that with something as huge as a bullet wound, the pain management would be pretty base-level. You'd just have to deal, take the edge off as much as you could.
He looked at the contraptions on the arm of the bed, then rang for the nurse. Maybe they'd at least let him have some water. While he waited he tried to recall everything that had happened, but it as a jumble. The guy he'd been handcuffing had a gun. He remembered watching Dom and Mia, then being knocked backwards. Then Dom pawing at him and very panicked. Being on a helicopter, which was kind of wild and something he'd certainly have enjoyed more if he hadn't felt like someone had gutted him with a bowie knife.
He was tired even though he'd barely been awake an hour, but he didn't want to fall asleep. Still, Brian didn't want to watch TV or anything else that might help him stay awake; it was weird to feel both restless and exhausted. He read the whiteboard at the foot of the bed with its unintelligible instructions for the different staff. One set of initials he did get: GSW. Until this assignment, he'd never drawn his gun. Now he'd not only drawn it a lot, against a person he knew, even, but he'd killed someone -- shot an actual human being. And now he'd been shot, wounded... it was a lot to take in, a lot to accept.
And under all of those thoughts, Brian kept hearing Tanner's voice pointing out that nothing like this had ever happened to him until he'd met Dom. Brian got that: Tanner wanted to keep him away from Dom. He could easily list all the reasons he disapproved of Brian's faith in Dom: you weren't supposed to believe in the mark. Weren't supposed to befriend them, encourage them to go straight and live a better life. And Tanner just plain thought Dom was dangerous; now whatever argument Brian could have made in Dom's defense wouldn't exactly hold up. Not from a hospital bed, anyway.
They'd given a bunch of technical mumbo-jumbo to him about the surgery. No major damage, but he didn't remember the rest. Finally the nurse came and took him out of his reverie. Ice chips only and then slowly they'd introduce him to soft foods. God, that meant those awful supplement shakes.
After a while Brian drifted off again despite his best efforts to stay awake. When he awoke, Dom was standing by the window, rubbing his right arm above the cast. He had that wrinkly forehead look and his mouth was drawn tightly. Brian said, "Hey."
"Hey, yourself." Even though there was a chair, Dom didn't come over to sit in it. "How you doing?"
"Okay. Thirsty, but they won't give me anything except ice chips yet." Talking was more tiring than he expected. His entire body felt groggy.
"Pain?"
"Yeah. But, you know..."
Dom cocked his head, face relaxing. "Yeah." Sometimes, Brian thought, his eyes just sparkled. There was something so alive about him, no matter how stressed or strained he was. "You lost a lot of blood, I guess."
"They told me."
"Brian, I'm sorry--"
"Don't." Brian cut him off harshly, waving his hand in the air. "Don't start on that."
Finally Dom came over and sat down, leaning elbows on knees, head lowered. "It's the same bullshit. It wouldn't have happened except for me. It's like all I do is apologize now."
Brian was too tired, too addle-brained for this kind of crap. He'd hoped by now that Dom would have gotten over the King of Pain act. Closing his eyes, he said calmly, "Look. Whatever happened, happened because I let it. I made the decision to be there. So stop with the fucking self pity and the guilt because it drives me crazy and I'm not in any condition to hear it."
Dom gave a little snort. "Still haven't lost your ability to kick my ass. Call me a little god, though, and I'm smothering you with the pillow."
The pain in Brian's side was positively white-hot level now, and he swallowed a couple of times. "Well, someone has to."
"You'll be happy to know that Mia's doing a good job of it, then."
The best Brian could do was an almost-laugh, but that hurt, bad. He reached out, moved his hand idly in the air, keeping his eyes closed. It seemed to take Dom forever to figure out that he should take Brian's hand. Comforting, though, to have those big strong fingers twined through his, rough and smooth at the same time. He could never figure out how someone who worked on cars all day could have such nice hands.
"If you don't stop with the guilt shit, I won't let you come back."
"Right. Like you're going to stop me." God, he loved the sound of that voice, the low vibration rolling over him. He'd missed that so much; maybe that was the worst part of being in the hospital. Brian felt ten times better just having Dom around, even if he was only half-conscious.
He swallowed, that drifting, floating feeling overtaking him. "Yeah, like I am." He was out of it again, falling into black space, drained. Then he felt Dom's lips on his, just briefly, before he slept.
"Why are you dressed like that?" Brian asked Dom. He definitely felt better now that they were giving him food -- even if it was just crappy sick-person food -- and letting him walk around. Okay, maybe not walking, but sort of shuffling along for a few steps every day. He'd had his first full physical therapy session the day before, and still slept most of the day away while waiting for Dom to show up. Usually Dom came in the late afternoon and stayed through the evening. No one really bothered about visiting hours here, but the staff tended to frown on people staying too late. He and Dom didn't even talk much, which suited Brian just as well despite the pleasure he took in the sound of Dom's voice. Just watched TV, filled each other in with various progress reports -- Brian's health status, Vince's recovery, what was going on with Mia and Letty and Leon.
But today Dom had arrived wearing a suit: dark blue with a gray-blue shirt and a tie in the same shade, only a deeper hue. He looked... stunning, but Brian couldn't use that word without laughing now. Like a model or something -- the fabric draped on him just so, his build emphasized to show off those wide, muscular shoulders and narrower waist and hips. His skin looked darker, his eyes kind of... well, dazzling. Christ. With a few carefully chosen clothes he'd managed to reduce Brian's vocabulary to a teenage girl's.
"Uhh..." Dom loosened his tie and Brian almost wanted to tell him not to wreck the picture. "We had the memorial service for Jess today. "
"Oh, God. Shit. I'm sorry." He sighed. "I was going to tell you that you clean up real nice. I know it's not appropriate. But ... holy shit, you do. You look unbelievable, Dom."
He rubbed a hand over his head. They'd cut Dom's cast off the day before and given him a brace instead. That had definitely made him much happier. "I only had an old one. A few years ago... Had to buy a suit for Dad's funeral and for court. But it was kind of out of date, so, you know. Excuse to get something new. Kinda weird, but I like suits."
"It's amazing. Especially on you. I said I wanted to see you in some of those nice things in the closet." He swung around on the bed, pulling the sheets out of the way. "But I'm really sorry about the why. Did it go okay?"
Dom twitched his head. "Well as could be expected. They let his dad out on compassionate leave, but it was kind of weird having the guards there with him. Leon came back. Vince isn't strong enough yet. I said a few things, Mia did, too."
Brian didn't want to sound patronizing by telling him that he was sure Dom did well, so he just touched his shoulder briefly and Dom glanced up at him.
"I miss him. Never thought I'd say it, but I really miss him. And not just because of his way with an engine, either." He said that fiercely, as though he was expecting Brian to diminish his feelings somehow.
"I know."
"Mia thought that maybe when you and Vince are back on your feet, we could have a wake or something like that. The kind of send-off he'd want to have. Something less depressing."
"Sounds like a great idea."
Dom got up and took off the suit jacket, tossed it across the foot of the bed, and pushed the door closed. There was a sliver of a window in the door, so Dom pulled the curtain around the bed, just enough so that someone couldn't see in. He leaned over and kissed Brian hard, roping his fingers through Brian's hair. When he pulled away, Brian grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled Dom's head down, pressing his forehead to his.
"If I didn't know better, I'd think you liked me. What was that for?"
Dom kissed him again, then stood back. "Just missed it. Been a long time, finally got a night where there aren't all those nurses coming in and out."
"Yeah. But still... risky, huh?"
"It's worth it." He looked toward the door. "You're too popular for your own good."
Brian grinned. "You're acting sort of grim, you know."
"Nah. Today, though... kind of makes you remember what's worth it, what isn't."
"Awww, thanks. I'm blushing."
Brian could tell Dom was really struggling not to laugh. He enjoyed doing that way too much. "Fuck you."
Yanking the covers up over his legs, Brian wiggled farther down into the bed. "Feel like climbing in?"
"That might be going a little too far."
"I knew that would freak you out." The way Brian grinned made Dom want to actually climb into the bed after all. It was the first time he'd really smiled like that in a very long time, the smile that felt like it had the whole world in it.
"I gotta get something to eat. You okay? Need anything?" Dom ran his fingers down Brian's arm.
"I'm good. I've advanced from Jell-O cups to an actual dinner resembling some kind of meat substance." He got serious then, his freaky blue eyes locked on Dom's. "They're letting me go tomorrow. Said I could stand on my own two feet now so I didn't need to have all the nurses fussing over me."
"Tomorrow. Really?" His stomach did a weird flip, leaving him shaky all of a sudden. All the decisions he'd been avoiding, the choices still left to make, were abruptly put in front of him.
"Thank God, is all I can say. I can kind of feel my legs atrophying." Brian made shooing motions. "Go grab some food. You know I'm not going anywhere."
Dom raised his eyebrows, nodded, and went in the direction of the cafeteria. The long drive out here every day in rush hour was wearing on him; he was always hungry, hot, and tired by the time he made it to the hospital. But now it looked like he wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.
The garage had been backed up with work when he'd finally returned to life as he'd known it. Mia was kind of wobbly for the first few days and hadn't gone into the store or to school. So, he'd felt compelled to stick around, see her through the worst of it. She refused to carry a gun or even a Taser, but eventually she'd mellowed enough that he had been able to go into the garage and get to work.
When they'd brought Vince home, Mia had made up a room on the ground floor for him, since he couldn't really be alone and his apartment was on the third floor of his building. It had been awkward and weird, Mia taking care of him like a nurse. Vince had not been the same person, not by a long fucking shot. More serious, less angry, and wrecked bad. Things hadn't improved much until Leon came down, minus, of course, Letty. She'd opted to stay in Bakersfield, as far away from Dom as she could get, and there'd been no discussion about it.
But Dom hadn't really told Brian too much about that shit. The last thing he wanted Brian to do was worry about stuff he couldn't change and wasn't responsible for, because he knew that if Brian was aware of it, he would feel responsible. And then Brian would holler at him again over his guilt, give him the lecture about how Dom really was a good person, better than he knew. They'd come to a truce on that and agreed to stop talking about it, but his failures still ate at Dom whenever he was alone with his thoughts. Tanner's words kept running through his mind.
He paid for the crappy sandwich and the pop, waited for the interminable elevator. In some ways Dom almost wished he could just walk out now, leave before it got too complicated. He could go to Mexico liked he'd planned, lose himself in another place.
When he got back Brian was chatting with the nurse again. Even that first night in ICU Dom had recognized the interest level of every female on the floor; in the following days it had amused him to watch the way the some of them found excuses to look in on Brian. Not just because he was so gorgeous, but because he was so friendly and easygoing. People couldn't help being dazzled by him, just like Dom had been.
They talked about the service while Dom ate, avoiding the topic of Brian being able to go home soon. Dom found himself staring at Brian, who would glance at him and smile as if it meant nothing that the two of them were here, dealing with this. Finally Dom said, "I got the Charger back. Your buddy Tanner gave me the impound slip. Picked it up the other day."
"Whoa. That was above and beyond."
"Yeah. Especially considering he doesn't exactly like me."
"Well, give him a break, normally he'd arrest someone like you." Brian grinned. "Are you gonna fix it up?"
"When you get better, yeah. You can help me." He didn't know why he said that.
"I'd like that." They stared at each other for a while until Brian finally said, "We have to talk about it sometime. Might as well be now."
"What?"
"What's going to happen after I get out. How we do this, or don't do it."
Shifting uncomfortably, Dom looked up at the TV screen.
"Dom, I'm not expecting you to take me in like you did with Vince. I'm not even expecting you to look after me. I just don't know... what kind of contact we're going to have."
"Okay. Guess I hadn't thought about it much. Or wanted to think about it."
"Everything's different now."
"No kidding."
They were quiet again before Dom said, "There's a lot of fallout, loose ends I've tried to tie up. It'll be the same for you There are a lot of other things to think about, is what I mean."
"Yeah." Brian was obviously unhappy, but Dom didn't know what to say; he felt more than a little panicked at even having this conversation, despite expecting it for days.
"First we get you back on your feet, you know? Then we figure everything else out."
"Sounds like a plan." But Brian could tell that Dom was in full avoidance mode, the way his eyes shifted, his posture changed. He was afraid. All that time they'd been chasing after Mia, Brian thought he was afraid, but he wasn't, not really. This was what made him truly scared. And Brian couldn't say he didn't understand, because he felt the same way -- which was why he'd brought it up in the first place.
He had no idea what kind of relationship they would have after he got out. All the time he'd expected to be back to normal. That they'd somehow be able to put this in the past and go on as friends, even just fellow car fanatics. But he didn't know how, and the way Dom had kissed him earlier had pretty much convinced Brian that he couldn't be happy without him.
"There's something you're not telling me. Is it about Letty?"
"No. Like I said, she isn't back, might not be. Don't worry about it." He got up and kissed Brian roughly. "You worry way too much about shit you can't control."
"That's the pot calling the kettle black."
"Once more with feeling: fuck you." Dom gave him that goofy grin, the one that always left Brian feeling like he was a little kid.
"Oh, man, I wish you could." Brian smiled, even though he didn't feel much like it. He'd expected this conversational stuff to be awkward -- but maybe not this awkward. Hard to talk about the future when it felt so up in the air. "You coming back tomorrow?"
"Of course."
"Because I could get someone from the station, or Tanner, to take me home."
"Not even close to being a problem. Don't sweat it." Dom ran a hand over his hair, then touched his shoulder. "Give me a call when it looks like you're ready to go, okay?"
"Will do." He touched Dom's forearm as he went past and watched him walk out the door. The sounds of the activity outside now flooded in to his room. He listened to it for a while, aware of the pain in his side, taking it all in. That was the best way to deal with pain, he'd been taught, just recognize it, let it happen, then steer your mind in other directions. It was safer in here in some ways. Outside this building his life would be forced to change, he would be forced into something he wasn't sure either he or Dom wanted. But there was no choice here anymore. What happened would happen, as Dom said, and no amount of worrying would change that.
When Dom got home, he was surprised to see Mia sitting at the dining table with Sergeant Tanner. Leon hovered around the edges, drinking coffee and looking edgy.
"What's going on?" he asked, not really feeling inclined toward greetings or polite small-talk.
"Hey, Dom," Mia said, getting up. "I'm the one who called the sergeant, so don't have a fit."
"Wasn't planning to. I just want to know why he's here. I assume it's not a social call."
"Not really," Tanner said, rubbing his fingers over his chin. "Your sister got a call from Tony Gregory. Well, actually, you got a call, but she answered."
"Shit." He threw his jacket on the couch and undid his tie. "How the hell--"
"He's allowed calls. Apparently he wants you to visit him down at county." Tanner looked kind of funny. "You're not in the habit of taking advice from me, I realize that, but I do not recommend making contact with the guy."
"He said that to you? He said he wanted to see me?" Dom asked Mia.
She nodded. "He told me that he just wanted to talk to you -- business, he said. No hard feelings, though he expected you to be pissed off. Dom, it was creepy." There was a lot of fear in her eyes even though she had her brave face on.
Dom looked at Tanner, his heart beating way too fast.
Tanner just kind of shrugged, but continued. "He still has a long reach, jail or not. We'll keep an eye on you, all of you. I can' t offer round-the-clock protection, but we'll do our best. The feds and LAPD have wanted him for too long, we're not going to let this whole thing unravel or let anything happen to the people who helped us get him."
"Wow, I'm so comforted."
Mia rolled her eyes. She didn't like it when she thought he behaved socially inappropriately. Over in the corner Leon made odd noises, like he was strangling on his drink.
Dom looked at all of them in turn, and said, "Look, if he wanted to take me out, or anyone else for that matter, he'd have done it weeks ago. Yeah, he's got a long reach, but if he'd wanted to use it, he would have."
Tanner thought about that for a little bit. All of that was true, but he wasn't sure he wanted Toretto to let down his guard or to think that meant things would work out all right. They had no idea just how long the Armenian was willing to wait it out; he might be fine with stringing them along, convincing them that business was business, and then wham! everyone was obliterated. But Toretto was not the kind of guy who took help, especially not from cops.
"Tell me you're not going to meet him."
"I can't get a read on him if I don't. Just what kind of a... mood he's in."
"Oh, spare me," Tanner said. The kid was just way too macho for his own good. "You're going to put everything at risk if you do that -- he'll use it to draw a bead on you, too. See what will make you vulnerable. He figured that out pretty fast before, you think he's not going to figure out a new way to make you suffer?"
Toretto stiffened. "Is Brian in danger, then?"
"What do you think?" Tanner glared. They watched each other for a few moments as Mia stormed off, muttering under her breath.
"I'll consider it," Dom said. "Look, I understand what you're saying. I'll weigh the options. But I know Tony, maybe not a lot, but enough, and one thing I know is that it might just be safer to do what he wants than to put him off. All that old-country bullshit, he's got weird codes and this crap he believes in about his own honor. "
Shaking his head, Tanner said, "I can't prohibit you from doing it, but... I really do not advise playing his game. He's already done that to you once."
"I want Mia to be safe."
"We will make sure that she is."
They stood there, silent, until Tanner finally gave up. Toretto knew how crafty Gregory was, how relentless, but they also had a history. And in his own way, Gregory probably did have a different level of... well, not respect, but maybe understanding of just what Toretto was willing to do, what he was capable of doing. The equation could be changed, but the last thing Tanner wanted to do was depend on that, considering how much was at stake. He particularly didn't want to think of Brian paying the price once again of being connected to this bush-league criminal.
So, he nodded and went for the door, Toretto following him. It was only then that Tanner noticed he was more polished-looking than usual. Mia had mentioned a service, but now Tanner made the connection. This was just so many ways of messed-up and ugly he couldn't even comprehend it all. One of their group a near-invalid; another dead and just buried; a third in the hospital with a gunshot wound. His sister was constantly anxious and not dealing with the trauma. And if he understood correctly, Toretto's girlfriend wasn't coming back to town even though the charges were dropped.
Would he have -- should he have -- done things differently with Brian if he'd realized just how far down the kid would get pulled, how dangerously this would play out? Looking at Toretto now, the anxiety on his face and the way he crossed his arms over his chest like he was protecting himself, he wasn't sure it could have happened any differently. As a cop, Brian had been bound by his duty; the problem was, duty had become something else for him and now he -- along with possibly a lot more people -- were going to suffer the consequences for doing that duty.
"At least do me the favor of talking to Brian about this. He has a lot to lose if Gregory decides revenge suits him better than letting it go. I don't think Gregory would go after your family again, and nothing we're doing hinges on your testimony. But he had more than a passing interest in Brian. I suppose he wouldn't be in as much danger if Gregory didn't think he could use him as leverage. That is, if you're planning to keep hanging around with Brian."
"You like to keep making that point, don't you?" Toretto said acidly.
"You keep giving me the chance."
When Tanner walked down the front steps, Toretto's eyes burned a hole in his back.
Mia watched them both from the other room, listening to their conversation drifting in through the window. As soon as Dom stopped worrying about what was happening to her, it ended up being all about Brian. Of course. She looked into the hall, saw Leon standing there looking as frustrated and bewildered as she felt herself. But he said nothing, because Leon rarely said anything that didn't need saying. It was all in the way he glanced at her, the way he cocked his head sideways, that told her she wasn't alone in thinking Dom was going off into the deep end again.
When Dom turned around to go upstairs, he paused and said to both of them, "I'm not gonna do anything stupid, I promise. But it might just be easier to talk to him than to let him sit around working up plans. Now that he knows Brian's a cop..." He didn't say anything more, just walked away in that infuriating manner she had never grown any more tolerant of. Mia and Leon stood there for a while, staring at each other, before Leon went into Vince's room, probably to fill him in on what had happened.
She'd largely kept her distance from Vince when she wasn't taking actual care of him. Discussions about Brian were the last thing she wanted to get into, and she didn't want to explain what had happened to everyone because of Brian's decisions. Mia knew Vince was grateful, but she wasn't sure just how far tolerance based on gratitude would extend considering how much Vince had hated Brian before. She had no feelings for Brian anymore, not after everything that had transpired, but that didn't mean she wanted to encourage Vince.
After a few minutes, Dom came downstairs, grabbed his car keys, and nodded at her. "I gotta go out."
"Where the hell are you going? You are not going to the jail, I hope."
"No. Just need to get some air."
"Jesus, Dom, what is wrong with you? The guy who kidnapped me and tried to kill you and Brian, he calls us and you just... what? Do what he tells you? Let him work on you so you put us in danger again? How stupid are you?"
"That's not what's gonna happen. I need to think about this. I know what's going on, more than you might understand, and I need to figure this out myself."
All of this was like a replay of the days after their dad had died, the two of them fighting, tearing each other apart because Dom just shut down, wouldn't talk, and then took out his grief in crazed violence. He said he listened to her and valued her opinion, but in these situations he never did. Just went blindly on like a mad bull.
In a choked voice, she said, "You're not in charge of my life. I don't give you that permission to fuck with it anymore. And I don't think anyone else does, either. You can't keep playing God."
For a moment he almost looked like he would cry. Jesus, she hated this: how much he felt, how intensely he loved her and yet never seemed to understand how to do the right thing. Mia wanted to go to him, tell him that it would be okay, but that he should listen to people like Tanner, listen to her for once in their miserable lives. But she was too angry. Warring tempers, that was the two of them. It seemed like sometimes they couldn't have a disagreement or misunderstanding without it being like pouring gas on a fire.
"Just go, Dom. Just go." Don't deal with the emotional fallout, like you always don't deal, she thought.
"I won't let anyone hurt you. You, Brian, Vince... I promise you that."
She shrugged and turned her back, muttering "Like you have any control." As he walked down the stairs, she watched him out the window, hugging her arms around her body. Could he be going back to see Brian, then? Maybe he would talk some sense into Dom's thick head. The thing that scared her most was the idea of him looking for a race, a fight, something dangerous and macho and full of testosterone, just to work it out of his system. After all the trouble he went through to clean his record... but he could be just that obstinately stupid when he wanted to be.
Only it seemed now as if everything came down to Brian. Mia wondered just how much this thing with Gregory was about his family now, and how much was about protecting Brian. She and Dom had always been unusually close for brother and sister, she knew that. For quite some time in their childhood, when their father had retreated to a safe, distant place emotionally far away from them, they had only had each other and had grown tighter than most siblings with their age differences. Mia knew Dom valued that closeness as much as she did. She knew he would die for her; that he loved her above everything else. But there were parts of him she was acutely aware that she never saw -- parts he didn't allow anyone to see, even Letty.
Her brother had the biggest heart of anyone she'd ever known. He was generous and loving to a fault, and once he loved you, he loved you fiercely, protectively. But Mia had never seen Dom in love -- that kind of "can't live without you, forever and ever love," as if that was too much emotion even for him. He'd settled into his relationship with Letty in much the same way he'd settled in to all his other relationships, no big romantic gestures or over the top displays of feelings. That kind of thing simply wasn't Dom.
Now, though, it made sense. More than anything, Dom was afraid for Brian. Because he was a cop, because he'd already been shot, because he'd saved their lives... whatever the reason, Brian was his biggest fear. With a sick kind of understanding, Mia finally saw through what had been opaque before: Dom didn't just love Brian, the way he loved her or Jesse or Letty or anyone else... He was in love with Brian.
The city always looked a lot nicer from up in the hills, Dom thought, especially at night. You could almost believe it was pretty. He leaned against the hood of his car, wishing he'd developed some kind of habit like smoking, something that would give him small actions to focus on. Take his mind away from all the crap weighing on it.
Tanner was right, it was stupid to play into Tony's game. But being right didn't mean shit in this situation. For Tony it was all about connections -- he really did believe in that "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" garbage, and being able to size each other up in person would help him decide what to do. If he felt Dom wasn't a threat anymore, then he'd treat it like a joke. The important thing was to make sure Tony knew he wasn't a threat -- and neither was Brian. It was the feds and the cops who were the threat, and Dom had just been their pawn. Anyone with the potential to do him some good later, Tony kept around; it was the ones he didn't think could be useful he disposed of. If Dom didn't show up to talk, Tony would believe he wasn't willing to be of service.
It was crucial to know where they fell in Tony's world now. Dom needed to see it in Tony's eyes. It didn't matter to Dom if Tony killed him as retribution. His affairs were in order; will, insurance, everything set up so Mia and the others would be taken care of. But the last thing he wanted was for something to happen to Brian.
Tanner was also painfully right about Dom being bad for Brian. Although Tanner had no idea how far things had gone, just what kind of "connection," as he'd called it, they had, it was clear that he got this whole thing on a fundamental level. The guy knew a hell of a lot about the world, and he knew just what kind of life lay ahead for Brian if Dom stuck around. He'd called it accurately each step along the way: every warning, every criticism to Brian about Dominic Toretto had played out exactly as he'd said. Brian wore the white hat, Dom the black. You couldn't really argue with that.
This was what you did in life, wasn't it? Small sacrifices, duly made. Payments rendered. Nothing good came for free. He looked down at the city, wondering how many people faced life-changing decisions, stood to lose something they really wanted or decided the fates of someone they loved. Millions of lives and millions of bad things happening, but somehow you always felt like you were the one who suffered the worst.
He'd done something that required a pretty big payback. Some of it had been paid out, some still left to be settled. But in the end, a deal was always a deal.
Brian slowly put the stuff he'd collected into a bag that the nurse had rustled up. He figured he might as well take everything that had accumulated in the hospital, since it would be a while before he was strong enough to do something like go to the store. Dom had brought him some clothes a few days ago, since what he'd come here in was pretty much useless except for the sneakers. Bullets will do that to a good T-shirt.
Every turn or movement he made, every up or down, was performed as gingerly and slowly as the first days, but he was still able to move a hell of a lot faster than the hospital staff with their discharge papers.
Eladio, the nurse who'd been flirting with him the past few days, came in to check up on him. "Sorry," he said, handing him his effects, "they're still doing the paperwork. It's really the longest thing you'll ever live through, trust me. Your friend here yet?" Most of the staff had stopped by over the past few days to tell him how much they were going to miss him, that he'd been their best patient in a long time. Every time someone had said that, Dom had snickered or glared hostilely, depending on his mood.
"Soon."
"He doesn't have to hurry, that's for sure. I've never understood why it takes longer to send a patient home than it does for intake." Eladio, like a lot of them, had also done more than his fair share of ogling Dom even though Dom wouldn't admit it. Admitting it wouldn't give him as big an opportunity to give Brian shit for the attention.
"Well, it's not like I'm in a big rush. I suppose you're going to make me leave in a wheelchair."
"Sorry again." Eladio shrugged. "It's not that bad. Everyone always thinks it's undignified, but believe me, by the time you've waited for the elevator, you'll be glad you're not trying to stand. You don't just get over a GSW like that, you know," he said, snapping his fingers. "You got a looong way to go."
Brian was lucky, because a guy he knew from the precinct gym who did personal training would be coming by for a few weeks to help get him back into the swing of things. He still felt shaky and he tired easily; the timetable of getting over a GSW, he was more than acutely aware of, did not happen just like that.
"We're gonna miss you." He patted Brian's shoulder. "I'll be back with the discharge stuff in... oh, ten years or so."
"I'll be here." Brian grinned at him. Everyone in this place had been great to him, and though he was anxious to go home, he would miss their thoughtfulness and maybe even the flirting -- just a bit.
He dressed slowly, put his watch back on, checked his wallet -- everything was still there. Merely putting his jeans on was a huge task; his lack of speed was almost comical. Brian lay back in the bed, tired out from the effort, listening to the drone of the TV. Within a few minutes, Dom appeared.
He hovered at the door, like coming in would be too much of an imposition. So, Brian thought, this is it. With unwavering certainty he knew what Dom planned to say to him now, but he didn't want to hear it. "You can come in, you know. It'll be a while before they finish the paperwork. They said it takes forever." Tanner had told him about the call from Gregory, about Dom's desire to talk to the creep as a possible method to keep Brian safe. Even though Tanner didn't like Dom much, he'd had the decency to let Brian know, hoping that he could talk sense into him. And in his own weird Tanner way to let him know that Dom was worried that much.
"Brian..."
"Okay, Dom. It's okay. I know what you're going to say."
"No, you don't."
"Yeah, I do. You want to cut it off, here and now." He'd been expecting it for so long, yet he'd held on to that crazy hope after what Tanner had told him, believing that maybe things could be different. That maybe Dom had made a decision to put someone else first.
That deep voice was scarily quiet. "I just... Brian, I can't do this." He entered the room to stand by the bed, his hand on the edge of the bed but nowhere near Brian. Dom's face was contorted with worry and regret. Good, Brian thought. He should feel at least a little bit of pain for this.
"I'll call Tanner or someone to come get me." Brian looked away this time, hyper-aware of everything in the room: the air conditioner's whir, the cars passing by below the window, the squeak of the cleaning cart wheels rolling through the hallway. The light seemed brighter, rawer.
"I'm sorry... I should have called so you didn't have to wait, but I wanted to see you."
" 'Cause, what? That would make it better? Cleaner? We both knew it was coming."
"No." Dom's voice was stronger now, emphatic. "No, we didn't. But I can't do this, live this way. Knowing everyone was looking at us, seeing us like... like that. I'm sorry. Whatever it takes, I don't have it."
"It's okay. I don't think I do, either, not really." He closed his eyes and leaned back into the pillow. "But maybe you should go now." He felt Dom's fingers on his, just for one heartsick moment, but he would not open his eyes. Couldn't let Dom see how wrecked he was -- or maybe how weak he was.
Stupid of him to think that maybe there was a shot. They were too different, they led lives that wouldn't allow for any kind of relationship like they'd built. It had been stupid, almost romantic of him to think it would have worked out.
Brian felt Dom leave the room without actually seeing him; his presence and scent dissipating in the air. The finality of it was almost worse than getting shot. Like his guts had been pulled right out of him abruptly, violently. Knowing it was going to happen didn't make it any easier to accept.
Brian sucked in a ragged breath and picked up the phone.
End Part 7
9/5/05
My gorgeous cover art by M'lyn. Please do not take or distribute in any way.